About this "chemistry" thing people talk about. Either (a) I don't have any idea what it is or (b) I know exactly what it is and I have felt it with a few rare people. If the latter, then it's nothing like I was led to believe (except by the people who said it's nothing like you've been led to believe). It's a feeling like wow I'd be thrilled to do anything for that person. They walk on air. They just seem to be unusual beings who move about a little more carefully so their inner light doesn't hurt anyone. But I don't know if it's ever been mutual, or if they ever had a clue how I felt. Except I know there was
something mutual, definitely, I just don't know if it's anywhere near as strong for them as it was for me. They ooze charm, but they have also (for a time at least) oozed appreciation for me. But here's the kicker.
It's such a terrible thing to burden someone you adore with the chore of telling you back they don't adore you as much. Know what I mean? I don't know if I could ever bring myself to do that to one of these creatures. Anyway it's quite cliche but so far, when I have felt this way about someone it started within the first hour (or maybe minute) of knowing them. And it never faded. I don't know if these are reliable patterns. Another pattern of uncertain reliability (P.O.U.R.), I've only felt it for people with whom my first communication was in person, live, introduced or brought together via a mutual friend. And lastly it was a particularly close mutual friend, not a mere acquaintance. One more P.O.U.R. is that these people were unusually unavailable. I am skeptical of patterns.
Shakespeare's 18th Sonnet ("Shall I compare thee to a summers day?") makes me think he felt that. Here are some lines from a Martha Scanlan song that leads me to believe she felt it.
- You're a slow ride down a country mile
- You're the smell of apple pie to the blind
- You're the last light on a July western sky
- You're the center of the watermelon
- You're a sweet, sweet smile
Isn't that something? Yes I believe she had it bad. Chokes me up dammit. I know what that feels like. I may wonder on my deathbed why I ever followed anything else.
So here's the solution to the above
dilemma. Clues are blatant in the above citations. Focus on them. Tell them how sincerely great they are (anyone can use that). Forget what I think about them (they probably can't use that).
