Thursday, November 13, 2008

Why Dating Is Hell

Dave Grossman, in his magnificent book On Killing posits that the fear of death or injury is not nearly so destructive (to army tactics or soldier psyches) as the fear of causing death or injury. In the same way, I suggest that the loathing and avoidance of courtship are not so much from fear of a broken heart, as fear of breaking a heart.

There is no honorable and comfortable way to say no. This is one reason lesser love gushes while great love may be quiet even to the point of tragic secrecy: to protect the beloved from having to say no.

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